My Beloved Mother
I am a daughter of a 47 years-old beautiful woman. She works as a teacher in Purwodadi State Junior High School 3. My mother teachs Indonesian for the 9 grade. She is an activist of scout in the same junior high school and in our regency too. She is member of andalan cabang in Grobogan Regency. Now she is preparing her delegates to follow Jambore Nasional 2011 in Palembang next 2 months. She is very busy everyday and always comes home late, but she never forgets to take care of her children. She still very loves us and we very love her too. She has been working hard to support us, especially after my father died. There are no words that can express my gratitude to her. I just can say, thank you for all that you have done for us, since we were in the womb until now. We will try to pay back your love and make you proud of us. We always love you so much.
Dear Ajeng, your Mom should read this. She must love it so much. However, before you send it to your Mom, please improve your writing with the following points:
BalasHapus*) definite/indefinite articles --> a 47 years-old beautiful woman; the 9th grade; an activist
*) punctuation --> woman
*) suffix -s --> My mother teaches; always comes home; she never forgets
*) word selection --> 'contingent' should be 'delegates'? 'reply love' should be 'pay back your love'?
Above all, this is great.
Komentar ini telah dihapus oleh pengarang.
BalasHapusi love this writing...it's very melancholic story
BalasHapusafter reading ms. Zulfa comments, I'm agree with her...heheheh
to diandra: dream. believe. make it happen. :-)
BalasHapusgood job and i love this...
BalasHapus\(*_________*)/ i'm agree with Ratih and Ms. Zulfa
to ms. Zulfa thanks for your complimet and evaluation ...i've already improved my writing.
BalasHapusand for my friend i just want to say Thank You..^_^